Sorry I’ve been away so long—there’s been a lot going on (stress at my job, spiritual warfare, and changes that God has been telling me to make, etc.) and I didn’t make time to write.
Since last month, God has been instructing me to make some changes in my life. One of those changes was to cut off my dreadlocks that I had for 8 years. I’d actually been thinking of cutting them off during these past few months (and maybe the year before) because the maintenance became too time consuming and doing certain styles were too uncomfortable for me:
- It would take four hours to retwist my locs and I found myself avoiding retwist sessions.
- When I styled all of my locs in an updo at the top of my head, I would get a headache; as a result, I didn’t wear updos as much.
- I’d have to lean my car seat further back to be able to drive without my hair scraping the roof of my car (and to be able to turn my head back and forth to check traffic)—it felt so awkward!
- Whenever I washed my dreadlocks, it took ALL DAY for them to dry; sometimes I had to use 2 towels to help them to dry.
- There’s been a few occasions when they’ve gotten caught in my car door or a door at work. Ouccch!
But I talked myself out of cutting my hair—after all, I’d had long hair all my life: long virgin hair (no chemicals but straightened with a hot comb), long permed hair, long natural hair, and long dreadlocks that reached my rear end. I wasn’t sure if I was ready to have short hair and was afraid that I wouldn’t “look right.” Plus, I felt sexy with my long locs. They were my stylish accessory. Maybe I could keep them and just find some tips online that could help me better care for them.
Last month, the Lord spoke to my heart and told me to cut my locs. I was alarmed—was He really telling me to do this? Was God serious?! Well, I might as well—I’d been thinking about doing it anyway! I prayed and asked if I could have a few weeks to mentally prepare myself. I just couldn’t do it ASAP. So I started wearing my locs pulled back away from my face to get an idea of how my TWA (teeny weeny afro) would look since I had some new growth (a.k.a fuzzy roots). Ehhh, I don’t know. Not sure if I like this. Ugh, I feel so exposed.
I started looking at several Youtube videos of women cutting their locs off, which inspired me. They looked beautiful with their TWAs and faded cuts. I also looked at various photos on Pinterest which were also inspiring. I kept praying for God to give me the courage to do this. I had urges to cut my hair sooner, but I wanted to make sure I was ready; plus, the word “wait” kept coming to me. But on Saturday 8/18/18, the Lord spoke to my heart again in the early morning hours: “I told you, do what I say.” I realized that “wait” wasn’t coming from God but the enemy; the devil always wants us to doubt and second guess what God says. I got up and started cutting my dreadlocks off, one by one. It was strange to see the pile of locs grow bigger and bigger and not attached to my head. The process took about an hour and a half. I put my locs in a bag and noticed that they felt slightly heavy since they were no longer attached to my head (but they never felt heavy when they were on my head, which was weird, except when they were wet). I cried a little but enjoyed how simple it was to wash and dry my hair in a shorter amount of time.
When I went to work that following Monday (and for the rest of the week), everyone was shocked (they were used to seeing me with my long dreadlocks), but I received a lot of compliments, which I appreciated because I was SO nervous! I still had to get used to the shorter look. At times, I wondered if it made me seem less feminine or less attractive (you know what they say: “Men looove long hair!”).
Now, a month later, I’m learning to love my TWA; although there are no more long locs to toss over my shoulder and I can’t feel them swinging against my back when I walk, I realize that even with long hair, I was only hiding behind it. But I love the low maintenance and the simplicity of my TWA! I also like how I can see my facial features more! I just feel freer and not weighed down by my hair. Lord, thank you for giving me the strength to cut my locs. Maybe this realization was what You wanted me to see.