Random Thoughts/Updates–What I’ve Been Up To

  • My favorite show is Death in Paradise on channel 11. It’s a mystery/whodunnit type show in the Caribbean where the detective figures out who killed who by the end of the show. I like the characters and the scenery reminds me of when I went to Jamaica years ago.

 

  • My hair has grown quite a bit since I chopped my locs off last year. I can’t believe that next month will make 1 year! Caring for my hair at this length has been waaaaay less time consuming.

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  • I’ve been longing to get back to creative activities and to find things to do so I won’t be constantly stressed out about worrying about work (I work in the social services field and things pile up. I HATE that but I’m learning to stop letting it stress me out). I took a sewing class almost 2 weeks ago and really enjoyed it! I made a pillow (see below) and bought a sewing machine because I’ve always been curious about how they work. I can’t wait to see what else I can create!

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  • I’ve also been looking for interesting events to attend/things to do. Last month, I saw Shark Tank the Musical and went to the African Festival of Life. I took a belly dance class last night which was fun! In addition to learning the techniques, it was a great workout. I have another sewing class this weekend and a painting class in a week or two. I also joined a bowling meetup group where you meet up with other people to do certain activities together. So far, we’ve done bowling and miniature golf which has been great!

 

  • I had ANOTHER setback in regards to frustration and getting mad at God because I was struggling with a certain issue (a crush on someone); I thought I was over it because I’d been through the same thing before (and God helped me before!). I kept trying to change my thoughts, use scripture, pray for help, and give praise/thanks at times, but I seemed to have only temporary relief. The thoughts would pop up repeatedly and got on my nerves. The word “deliver” would come to me but I thought “WHEN?! Nothing’s happening and you’re not doing anything!”

I thought God was playing games with me and I ranted/raved and said all kinds of things. I was fed up and started feeling hopeless again (there were other things that had been building up which led to the explosion). I didn’t want to talk to Him or hear anything from Him.

I started looking up info online–a blog post or article to see if someone else had a similar experience. I came across a blog post that basically said that when we don’t trust God/when we’re mean to Him, that hurts his feelings. I thought, “Huh? God has FEELINGS?” It was such a foreign thought to me. I never thought of Him as having feelings. Maybe I’m still thinking of Him as a drill sergeant or task master. Seeing this post written about Him struck me…I wouldn’t talk to a friend or acquaintance that way. There have been so many times I’d tell myself I’m not going to behave that way anymore. But let anger and doubt creep in and BAM! off I go.

I prayed, repented and asked God to forgive me. I want to stop getting mad at Him and blaming Him for nonsense when He’s the one who’s helped me through various situations. I’m reminding myself that the enemy’s main purpose is to cause confusion and deter me from getting to know God and remembering His promises.

Please pray for me in this area–pray that I will truly get to know Him and not have the wrong view of Him.