“For My Man” is a TV show about various women who fall in love with the wrong man and end up doing something crazy, like robbing and killing another person for money or revenge. Their relationship starts out with an intense attraction and a desire to spend the rest of their lives together. The man usually convinces his girlfriend to do something absurd and unfortunately, she goes along with it.

For example, on one of the recent episodes I’d seen, the young couple wanted to get an apartment together but they didn’t have any money so they decided to rob a house in a nearby city. In some cases, the woman doesn’t want her man to hurt anyone but she doesn’t back out of the plan or try to stop it; as a result, they both go to jail. Although there were a few episodes where the guy took the blame and said that their girl had nothing to do with the crime, she still had to face the consequences because she was an accomplice. I hate to see women ruining their lives for what they thought would be a fairytale ending.

The different people who discuss what happened (investigators, friends, etc.) usually say, “They did it because of love” or “they were blinded by love.” But is that really true? If you take a deeper look, these women were lonely, desperate, and looking for love; most of them didn’t have father figures in their lives and they felt like they had to do whatever they could in order to please their man. None of that is true love.

If someone truly loves and cares about you, they’re not going to ask you to do something that would jeopardize your future (i.e. life in prison). They’re not going to ask you to do something that will bring harm to someone else. I’m starting to think that these men were preying on these women and trying to see how far they would go to prove their love (and women can prey on men as well). Let’s face it–some of these women were cold-blooded; they felt no remorse about their man killing someone else or participating in the murder. I guess being around these men brought out what was already in them?

I’ve been in relationships where I thought I was in love: I gave one guy money because I thought I was “helping” him during difficult times and allowed another guy to destroy myself esteem. Would I say that I did it because of love? No, it was because I was desperate and didn’t know my worth. When you don’t know who you are and how valuable you are, you will become susceptible to anything.

Forget this “ride or die” nonsense. We all want to find love, but at what expense?  If you’re going to be in a loving relationship, you want to have the freedom to enjoy it. Maybe you’ll want to get married, have children, or travel together. Your partner should uplift and complement you (and vice versa) so both of you can become better people. But you won’t be able to do any of those things if you’re both in jail or dead.

Learn to love and respect yourself; developing a relationship with Jesus is the key. He can fill that empty space inside of you and show you how much you truly mean to Him. When you know your worth, you won’t be begging for crumbs and scraps. You won’t have to settle or entertain everyone who comes your way.