Be Careful of the “Friends” You Have (Part 2)

Shanquella Robinson’s story is so disturbing and it made me think of previous experiences I had with so-called friends. In my previous post, I wondered if she saw any red flags or sensed anything negative about her “friends” and simply disregarded it? Well, I used to have a close friend (let’s call her Amy*) that I knew for several years; we worked at the same employer, and we would hang out after work or on the weekends. She seemed gentle, kind-hearted, and a good listener. If we did not hang out, we would still talk via phone, chat, text, or email. I did not feel any weird vibes or feel anything was “off.”

I felt like she was a supportive, caring friend; she was even concerned about the men I dated and had told me that I could do better (she had said that the guys I dated didn’t have much going for them, didn’t have much money, etc.).

On one occasion, I had gotten sick after I ate at Amy’s* home. The next day, my stomach was upset, and I had diarrhea all day. When I mentioned it to her, she said she did not get sick. I wondered if the food I had eaten was old (I had noticed a slight freezer burned taste) and thought that caused the sickness. I continued to hang out with Amy* and ate at her home. I’d eaten food at her home several times and had never gotten sick before and never suspected that she would try to harm me.

Years later, Amy* started hanging out with another friend (let’s call her Felicia*) and arranged an outing where we could all hang out. We attended yoga classes at a local library, and I enjoyed myself (please note: I no longer do yoga because of things that I’ve have heard about it). But I started noticing that something seemed different with my friend Amy*. One day, she sent a text about wanting to hang out, and when I replied, she said the text was for Felicia.* I didn’t think it was a big deal, but the Holy Spirit gave me the sense that the text was sent on purpose and they were both playing games. He also brought the word “jealous” to me. Back then, I wondered if Amy* wanted me to be jealous of her friendship with Felicia*, but now I suspect that maybe the text was supposed to make me feel left out.

I also noticed how Amy* would tease me about certain things and Felicia* would join in. Now, Amy* had always teased me about different things, but it was never anything offensive or negative. This time Amy* teased me and referred to me as “rich” because I purchased a new (but used) car, a Bluetooth headset, and a new cell phone (I was working full-time). I wondered why she was behaving this way because a while back, she told me that she decided to work part-time so she could spend more time with her daughter. I also had told Amy* how I’d broken up with an ex-boyfriend (I told her that God revealed to me that the guy was seeing someone else although I didn’t have “proof”). When the three of us ladies were together, Amy* brought up how I broke up with my ex-boyfriend and joked about how he did nothing wrong. I didn’t like that she did this in front of someone that I didn’t know well; it made me wonder what else has she told Felicia* that I told her in confidence? First, she said he wasn’t good enough for me, but then next minute he was a good guy??

In addition, Amy* and Felicia* would make jokes about leaving me somewhere and having me walk several blocks to get back to my car (after the yoga class, the three of us would ride together in Amy’s* car to a restaurant or another store for shopping). 

On the first outing, I remember Felicia* telling Amy* that she thinks I forget to eat; Amy* told her that I eat healthy. I wasn’t sure how to respond and I didn’t let that comment get to me (probably because I’ve had comments about my size from other people). Good grief! It’s not as if I was skeletal looking. Now that I look back, that comment may have been a warning sign of what was brewing beneath the surface.

After hanging out with Amy* and Felicia*, I started to feel uneasy and uncomfortable when I thought about our outings; I sensed that the Holy Spirit was telling me that if I continued hanging out with them, they may physically harm me. Then I started wondering if I was being paranoid, but then the same message was confirmed through my mother via the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit also gave her the sense that if I kept hanging out with these two women, something bad would happen to me. After this, I stopped hanging out with them and ceased all contact. I also realized that it’s possible that Amy* put something in my food to make me sick years ago.

This purpose of this post is not to make you paranoid but to make you aware; please pay attention to things you sense, feel, and see with your own two eyes! Everyone does not always have your best interests at heart. We tend to want to believe the best about people despite what we’re actually seeing in front of our faces. Sometimes we may not sense or notice anything right away; maybe those people are good actors. Perhaps something changed (they became envious) or they never truly cared about you and their true feelings are starting to emerge. The nastiness comes out and they can’t hide it anymore. God sees what’s in someone’s heart no matter what comes out of their mouths. 1 Samuel 16:7 says that “man looketh on the outward appearance, but the Lord looketh on the heart” (KJV). I am thankful to God for the discernment He gave me about this so-called friendship. Please be careful who you call a friend and if something feels “off,” ask God to give you the strength to leave the friendship (it may be difficult if you’ve known the person for a long time).

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